Your bird is cooked
Hello all...
you jerks. Hope everyone had a delicious "Celebrate The Non-Starving Of The Pilgrims By Showing Just How Much Food We Can Consume In One Day Day." I ate myself stupid. Literally. By 9:30 p.m. I was leaned back in a chair, belt fully unbuckled, saying things like, "No, seriously cousin, I really think Hardee's has a crack P.R. team. That new burger they thought up... pure genius." and "Yeah, I guess I can understand why you voted for him."
Anyway, I gained 8 pounds. I still have tons of leftovers, and the residual ripples of the Thanksgiving fat will undulate until the dawn. How much did you gain? What was the biggest, strangest, or most disgusting thing you ate? Did anyone else have three bowel movements the next day? Let me know, I really care.
Until we meat again,
Reefflop
P.S. I didn't really say that shit. There's not enough turkey in the world. Speaking of turkey, here's mine...
P.P.S. OK, I said the Hardee's thing. I mean, it's just good thinking.
you jerks. Hope everyone had a delicious "Celebrate The Non-Starving Of The Pilgrims By Showing Just How Much Food We Can Consume In One Day Day." I ate myself stupid. Literally. By 9:30 p.m. I was leaned back in a chair, belt fully unbuckled, saying things like, "No, seriously cousin, I really think Hardee's has a crack P.R. team. That new burger they thought up... pure genius." and "Yeah, I guess I can understand why you voted for him."
Anyway, I gained 8 pounds. I still have tons of leftovers, and the residual ripples of the Thanksgiving fat will undulate until the dawn. How much did you gain? What was the biggest, strangest, or most disgusting thing you ate? Did anyone else have three bowel movements the next day? Let me know, I really care.
Until we meat again,
Reefflop
P.S. I didn't really say that shit. There's not enough turkey in the world. Speaking of turkey, here's mine...
P.P.S. OK, I said the Hardee's thing. I mean, it's just good thinking.
posted by Reefflop | 8:04 PM
1 Comments:
I open the door
you lie motionless
The stench is excruciating
I shake you
you are stiff and green
I cry out in pain
why did I neglect you
I could have prevented this
you have crossed the brink
The shame and odor are too great
I bring you out slowly
and throw you in the dumpster
I feel longing and remorse
The emptiness in unbearable
how long had I waited?
I must move on
It is no good to dwell
nothing will bring you back
I yearn for sustenance
I find my solice
in hot juicy flesh
I feel guilty
but I am satiated
I will not weep for you
Next time, I will not wait
Leftovers will be consumed in a timely manner
No more casualties
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